明天, 今天, 昨天（ghostneuron）

Life is interesting, there are always puzzles for you to solve, make brain work all the time, which is very good for health and long living, and reduces the chance of suffering Alzheimer’s disease. Does this make human human?

Last night swimming: free style 300m, belly style 150m, back style 50m.

今天因腹泻禁食一天，头昏至傍晚而有好转。收到小可爱rabbit的亲笔信和明信片一张。Little rabbit真是善于抒情，洋洋洒洒三页纸，尽是肺腑之言，让我感动良久；已经好久没人给我写长信了，由是感激涕零。小可爱电话中说遇到两只Jackrabbit追逐嬉戏，犹似我们俩的化身，一个Jack，一个rabbit。但是小可爱不肯描述jackrabbit的模样，我于是google了一下，得此信息：The Black-tailed Jackrabbit (Lepus californicus), also known as the Desert Hare, is a common hare of the western United States and Mexico, found at elevations from sea level to up to 3000 m. It feeds on cactus, sagebrush, mesquite, grasses, and crop plants such as clover and alfalfa. They drink little, deriving water from their food. They can reach speeds of up to 55 km/h, and can leap 6 m in a single bound.

今天自由泳225m, 蛙泳175m， 仰泳50m。感觉体力增加，越来越舒服了。看到香港雷雨的照片，觉得很像神经原，它们为什么那么像？

早晨，小可爱兴奋地告诉我，她的高效率生活，上课，辅导，写教案，写blog，早起，做饭，锻炼。。。好可爱的小兔乖乖，我表示无比的敬意，崇拜之情如滔滔江水。。。相比之下，我的效率要慢多了，一本书看了好几天还没有看完，呜呜呜。。。小可爱就像跃迁的光子，不断地释放出能量与热情，让我祝愿她不断地蹦下去。。。当然也要有张有弛，最好与我相协调。。。

在纷繁的相逢中
让我们倾其所有成为它的份，
以便秩序出现
在巧合的意图间。

周围的一切都要我们倾听——，
就让我们倾听到尽头；
因为果园和道路
永远属于我们！

 (何家炜译）

Dans la multiple rencontre

Rainer Maria Rilke

SOX3, 一个与大脑发育有关的基因在染色体为XX的小鼠发育早期被激活后，她变成了他，行为，表型。这是最近University of Adelaide, Dr Edwina Sutton
 的一项意外发现. Trpc2, 一个仅在某种神经细胞表达的与感受外激素刺激有关的离子通道基因,被敲除后,雌性小鼠表现出雄性的性和求偶行为;而且这种改变也可以在成年小鼠实现, 这是Harvard University 的Dulac博士的最新发现, 发表在最新一期Nature上. 最近的性别研究真是突飞猛进, 还有个研究小组实现了完整基因组在物种间的转移. 科学家们正在努力制造人造生命. …这些都是科幻作品早已预见的东西了, 既然凡尔纳的月球旅行可以实现, 似乎没有什么实现不了的,只要人类能想得到. 假如性别可以改变, 世界将会变成什么样子呢? 每个个体都可以决定自己的性别,而且可以随时改变, 那时还会有婚姻家庭吗? 人类生存的动力是什么呢? 自私的基因还会以传统的生存竞争方式被传递吗? 控制与反控制, 殖民与反殖民, 歧视与反歧视…..人类会自我毁灭吗? 有时间想象一下未来是很有趣的事, 尽管地球还是照转, 日子还是流水一样过去, 我还是在实验室里做无用功, 但是至少每天都是不一样的, 连blog也是不一样的…..

今天自由泳150m, 蛙泳100m,  仰泳50m. 

 无意间，浏览到一篇很不错的Blog, 是关于人性善恶，人类进化的心理学，哲学探讨。也发现小可爱喜欢的科幻小说家 Philip Kindred Dick的几段引言：

The authentic human being is one of us who instinctively knows what he should not do, and, in addition, he will balk at doing it. He will refuse to do it, even if this brings down dread consequences to him and to those whom he loves. This, to me, is the ultimately heroic trait of ordinary people; they say no to the tyrant and they calmly take the consequences of this resistance. Their deeds may be small, and almost always unnoticed, unmarked by history. Their names are not remembered, nor did these authentic humans expect their names to be remembered. I see their authenticity in an odd way: not in their willingness to perform great heroic deeds but in their quiet refusals. In essence, they cannot be compelled to be what they are not.

The power of spurious realities battering at us today— these deliberately manufactured fakes never penetrate to the heart of true human beings. I watch the children watching TV and at first I am afraid of what they are being taught, and then I realize, They can’t be corrupted or destroyed. They watch, they listen, they understand, and, then, where and when it is necessary, they reject. There is something enormously powerful in a child’s ability to withstand the fraudulent. A child has the clearest eye, the steadiest hand. The hucksters, the promoters, are appealing for the allegiance of these small people in vain. True, the cereal companies may be able to market huge quantities of junk breakfasts; the hamburger and hot dog chains may sell endless numbers of unreal fast-food items to the children, but the deep heart beats firmly, unreached and unreasoned with. A child of today can detect a lie quicker than the wisest adult of two decades ago. When I want to know what is true, I ask my children. They do not ask me; I turn to them.

 看起来他是个很乐观的人啊！不过又看了看他的一篇著名演讲"How to build a universie that doesn’t fall apart two days later" , 有大半篇是他以自己的经历来质疑真实世界的存在的。以我常人的理解，他对世界的认识跟我们是不一样的，不过再结合他可能的精神心理疾病历史， 那些关于巧合的经历就可以理解了；对于经过专业医学科学训练的我来说，就像他的心理医生一样，很难相信他对于世界的认识。不过对于科幻小说，哲学研究来说，真实与虚妄，换个角度看问题常常会很有意思， 令人着迷。。。

Also 一段作者的话：

So far, so grimly familiar: homo sapiens may lie somewhere halfway between ape and angel, but the vicious half of the human psyche seems tragically irrepressible despite quantum leaps forward in our material and technological capacities, the evolution of morality failing to keep pace with the advance of guns and steel. By this logic, only so many missile defense shields and Jack Bauer-style torture interrogations can stave off inevitable atrocity and apocalypse, or as Bertrand Russell put it:

There lies before us, if we choose, continual progress in happiness, knowledge, and wisdom. Shall we, instead, choose death, because we cannot forget our quarrels? We appeal as human beings to human beings: Remember your humanity, and forget the rest. If you can do so, the way lies open to a new Paradise; if you cannot, there lies before you the risk of universal death.

上午为细胞拍照片，两眼昏花；下午回家做千层饼两个，鸡肉炒芹菜一盘，算是周末大餐，特此摄影留念。

在傍晚的公园里行走，夕阳温和而安详，洒下一条条金光，透过树冠，楼房，栏杆，人，狗，还有野雁，一切都不再孤单；走在软软的草皮上，影子又细又长。。。 晚上六点半，二十多只野雁在忙着就餐，长脖子伸伸缩缩，盯着草地，不紧不慢；两个小捣蛋，一红一黑，带着棒球帽，追着几只往前赶，"哆哆哆，我还没有吃完"。。。大树下坐着一个黑人, 沉静中凝视着远方, 黑炭似的脸在金色的夕阳下更显凝重, 俨然是一尊精致的雕塑。篮球场上也是一群黑人, 两队在打一场快节奏的比赛。。。我走进一个玫瑰园, 里面的玫瑰已经有些衰败, 几十种玫瑰都有不同的名字, 看着看着, 就让人头昏目眩, 只记住一种叫"米开朗基罗", 淡黄色的大朵,有点像牡丹, 高贵而典雅。。。远处的玻璃城堡在夕阳下闪闪发光, 蓝天白云也掩映其中; 公园里是悠闲的情侣, 孩童, 和乞丐, 还有狗和野雁, 他们都其乐融融, 在这早秋的傍晚。。。小路上是雁屎阵, 这里是野雁的大本营, 据我娘观察, 曾有一千只之多在早晨聚会。。。加油站门口的小红旗又开始摇了，红袜子的比赛大概快开始了，我的积食也消化得差不多了，该回家用功了。。。小可爱正和朋友逛街呢，祝你周末快乐！

今天是第二次早晨跑步，坚持了3200 m, which is 八圈儿, 感觉好多了. 烤面包片加煎鸡蛋, 一杯牛奶算是早餐. 中午的时候买了个Tuna Sandwich, 要的是一种whole grain 面包, 我是第一次要这种面包. 长条椭圆形, 黑色的质地, 看着软软的, 很有弹性的样子…….一入口果然与众不同, 韧韧的, 软软的, 嚼起来引起很强的性的欲望, 又像是回归婴儿的磨牙期,  咬牙的快感油然而生;然后麦子的甜味,香味也融了进来, 齿颊留香….真是神奇的面包啊!

I got up late today from nightmares, with pain shoulder and sour legs. The experiment took a long day, with few result. I am stuck here too long this time, don’t know if I can finish the paper before X-mas. And I don’t like the people in the labs suround also, no one is ambitious, with too much gossip on nonsense! I don’t like to join the Chinese lunch party everyday, it only makes you degraded, am I too proud?
I took fried vegetables with shrimp and brown rice/tomato cream sause for lunch, spicy and hot, it’s quite good. And bologo wrap for dinner. After I finished the experiment on Rac1 activation assay, which was not too bad, I hurried home to take my swimming suits, then caught the 8:30 M2 shuttle bus to Harvard Squire, and walked to the Blodget pool, where I stayed for half a hour. I tried to swim 300 m today, with 100 m for free style, 50 m for back style and 150m for belly style. I got a little improved today since I can still move my legs efficiently after this 300 m.
Day by day, it’s hard to keep something like this, jogging in the morning, swimming in the evening, experients all day, and reading whenever possible, and still feel with strength to talk and laugh. Hope I have a good dream tonight…

生活在科学的时代，意味着每天都会有新发现，新创造, 它可能就在你身边。今天看到ScienceDaily的报道“MIT creats 3D images of living cells“，是我曾经去过的一个实验室作出的研究，而且曾经与其中一位作者有过合作；我们希望用他们的技术帮助我们测量细胞的容量变化；后来因为系统不够稳定而且意义不是很大而没有完成。这个细胞CT会促进细胞生物的研究，因为活细胞的许多细节可以被动态的观察，也就更接近真实状态。不过他们的技术还在初始阶段，待分辨率提高后，或者结合其他显微技术的应用，会有很大的应用前景。

昨天看了电影Artificial Inteligence, 很有意思，描写人类创造的机器人与人之间的感情纠葛和矛盾；前天看的系列剧"Master of Science Fictions" ——A clean escape, 也是对人类可能滥用核武器毁灭自己的思考。 科学的时代，意味着无时无刻生活中没有科学。。。

今天起重新开始我的医生职业考试准备，特此记录，希望两年内完成stepI, step  II,  争取2009年match for residency.  因此要减少科研工作学习的时间了。